like it's my birthday! enjoy 21

my new age wouldn't be official without shots of Mr. Jose



blow my 21st. thank you bestie Nabilla Yasmine!



my lovely temporary housemates. Nidi and Nabilla :D

she's so wasted
acting crazy
making a scene
LIKE IT'S HER BIRTHDAY
drinking champagne
going insane
LIKE IT'S HER BIRTHDAY



welcoming myself to the legal age :D

I'm Still Here (Vertical Horizon)

I found the pieces in my hand
They were always there
It just took some time for me to understand
You gave me words I just can't say
So if nothing else
I'll just hold on while you drift away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here
Still here

Seeing the ashes in my heart
The smile the widest
When I cry inside and my insides blow apart
I tried to wear another face
Just to make you proud
Just to make you put me in my place
But everything you wanted from me
Is everything that I could never be

Maybe tonight
It's gonna be alright
I will get better
Maybe today
It's gonna be okay
I will remember

I held the pieces of my soul
I was shattered and I wanted you to come and make me whole
When I saw you yesterday
But you didn't notice
And you just walked away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive

The lights go out, the bridges burn
Once you're gone, you can't return
But I'm still here
Remember how you used to say I'd be the one to runaway
But I'm still here

where to go?

tracking back the story
the unfinished story
i find myself lost in the middle of the road
there is no turning back
too impossible to move forward

and you,
you were beside me
we used to walked with the same pace
until your steps became faster and faster
and left me behind

so let me ask you
would you walk slower
and if it's possible
would you turn your back
do the reverse walk
and find me?

because i'm still here

13 days in winter july

in 13 days, I laughed till I cried
in 13 days, I could be myself, the good and the bad
in 13 days, I had my breakfast ready made by my bestmen
in 13 days, I went on the most perfect so called date in my life
in 13 days, I got a chance to know myself better
in 13 days, I tortured my monsters every single day
in 13 days, I did not have to worry about the world
in 13 days. I had the best winter ever in myself
in 13 days, I was shouted by my bestmen and I'm still happy about that

if time machine application in my macbook could be applied to my real life, I would like to go back to my 13 days.

shooting stars (by: Bag Raiders)

It's late and I'm awake
Staring at the wall
Open up my window
Head falls out the door

No one else around
And a shimmer takes my eye
I lift my head
Blinded by the sky

Feel my weight in front
Following the sound
Moves away so fast
Fall down to the ground

I know what is more to come
Jump back to my feet
Now I only see ahead of me
Chasing down the street

Give my love to a shooting star
But he moves so fast
That I can't keep up
I'm chasing

I'm in love with a shooting star
But he moves so fast
When he goes there
I'll be waiting

what is Alia Namira?

just got back from a short escape to sepang goldcoast beach with my "so called" daddy (Inu). so what we were doing to pass this day are going to sepang then watched the sun goes down, ate sate padang (although it was chicken instead of beef), and as usual, to end our trip, a good chat on the way back home. then we came up with this topic. If we could describe ourselves as an object, what would it be?

the question was simple but it made me think hard though.. so i decided to describe himself as a fragile box.



why? because he is calm, he doesnt talk that much, but by giving the sign "fragile" it makes us know how sensitive he is. it shows that we must take care of him nicely, or else he will be broken.

and as for myself, i describe myself as this



yeaaa jackpot!!! why jackpot? its because im difficult, hard to please, and forever changing my mind. no one knows what's on my mind and no one can guess what am i gonna do.. neither myself.. so yea, i think the jackpot thingy represents myself quite well.

how about you readers?

empty sky.

see the picture? it's fireworks. yes. I NEED FIREWORKS IN MY BORING SKY!!! and what's that suppose to mean? that means I NEED SOMETHING TO DO TO FILL MY DAYS HERE BECAUSE HOLIDAY IS KILLING ME!
I'm entering the third month of my holiday. I repeat. the third month! not week! I'm sick of it! I'm tired of being unoccupied. and the worst part is that I cant go anywhere but stay in KL until I take off to Bangkok on the next 6 days. I wish I could go back to jkota this week and go back to KL before I leave for Bangkok. unfortunately, I'm not the daughter of a king (although I always act like one ;p) so yea, I'm stuck here because plane ticket to Jkota for this week is super-expensive and I cant afford it :((

anyways, instead of talking about my superdupermegaboring holiday, let's talk about my plans in Bangkok and PhiPhi Island wuhoooo!!!!!



ok so this is the picture of Phi-Phi Island. very nice isnt it? for you guys who have watched The Beach movie by my gardener (Leonardo DiCaprio ;p) yes, Phi-Phi is the bomb. so me and 3 friends are going there! I've been waiting for this moment for forever!!!!! and now Insya Allah, I'm gonna make it happen next Sunday. Just wish me luck and I hope everything's gonna be alright *crossing fingers*. Basically, my plans for Bangkok is shopping and shopping and shopping. As for PhiPhi are tanning, snorkeling, laying on the beach, and kayaking :) oh I soooooo cannot wait!!! dear God, please make the time goes faster!

Regardless the PhiPhi and the boring holiday, I feel like in my age now, which is 20. I wanna live my life to the fullest, no it's not like I never thought like that before, no. it's just, in this particular age, I feel different. I feel powerful and I believe that I can realize my dreams. In simple words, Im 20 and I can do whatever I want to do. I want this I want that and yeah I can make it happen! I dont care about what people say. They can say Im ungrateful, spoiled, snob, whatever dude... I dont give a shit. Im doing what I like. Im 20, Im young, and Im capable of doing anything. Nothing can stop me from reaching my dreams (except God's permission)

I know it sound selfish but hey, everybody knows right? that I'm difficult, hard to please, and forever changing my mind.. *LOL*
After Bangkok, I have long awaiting places to be touched.. there are melbourne, bali, bira beach, and hongkong. I know Im acting like Im one of the Hiltons or Kardashians. I know Im not as rich as those who were born with silver spoon on their mouth.. but I can realize my dreams as well, only with my own way.

Just like my best friend said.. GOD WILL SHOW HIS WAY TO PEOPLE WHO OBSERVE ATTENTIVELY.
so im just gonna be myself, work hard, pray hard, and try to read every sign in every step I take.

a present for a best friend

okey, let me introduce you to this annoying but lovely person.. the man who taught me and gave me lessons of life.. this is mr. bimo darmyo.. my very best friend, best man, whatever you name it..
we've been playing and kickin around since we were in junior high.. sooo i think it's been 9 years.. shoot! we did everything together with aluk and aris. but for this post i'm concerning bimo. yeap, he's selfish, annoying, stubborn, but he's my best man!
when i moved to KL, he was the one who cried like a sissy in the airport *LOL* and he came to KL a month after i moved because he missed me so much! hahahahahaha..... no matter how much i hate his selfishness, i need him. and now he's leaving to melbourne to continue his study... and i feel left out. lonely. blur.
he's been a part of my life since forever... i dunno what am gonna do without him in jkota. my life would be so boring. it's gonna be me aluk and congkek against jkota. aarghhhh
and the worst part is I cant fetch him to airport before he leaves for aussie because i'll be in thailand on his departure day! shoooootttt!!!!!!!! however, God has been acting very nice to me :)
bimo came to KL 3 days ago just to see me and we hugged goodbye :'(
now, my next project will be saving up my money to go to melbieeeee yeaaaaayyyy....
on my bday all my besties were coming,, so i have to pay them back!!!!

this is too long

how long? what is it? the holiday is too long. yes.
my holiday started from last november and college starts on march. imagine how long is that.... so yea, now I'm probably the busiest unoccupied person in KL. why am i doing in KL? i dont know. i went back to jkota last month and i did an internship at ANTV (for those who don't know what ANTV is, it's one of private TV stations in Indonesia) but turned out i didnt really enjoy it. not because the bad salary or the jobdesk or the environment. no. it's because the internship made me realize that I dont want to work in a boring office from 9-5 doing the same thing every fuckin day. since i was a kid, i always wanted to be like my mom who can wear nice working suite, the shirt, the skirt, the long pants, the high heels, the big leather bag with full make up. and i finally experienced it through my internship and i realized that i was wrong. im a free person. i cant sit for hours and doing the same thing... but Thank God i could finished my internship. so now here i am, back to KL. why KL? why didnt i stay in Jkt and spend the rest holiday there with all my friends? okay.. it's because i dont feel like i belong there anymore.. everybody's busy with their own businesses and i cant go wherever i want like when im in KL. here i can wake up anytime... i can go anywhere without asking someone's permission. at first, i wanted to apply for part time job to fill my boredom here... but then i looked at myself again then i put myself as the employer's position.. if i was an employer, would i hire someone like me? someone who is unreliable, who can leave the job anytime she wants because she has so much plans in her head... yes. that's what i am. imagine like this, if im doing the part time then i have to leave on 24 january because im going to singapore to watch the killers. and on feb 7, i have to leave again for thailand because i wanna go backpacking with my girls and after thailand i have to go back to jkt for a while to do the "kebaya fitting" for my borther's wedding, and on march 14 i have to go back again to jkt for my bro's wedding. see? how busy i am *lol* nobody wants to hire me and i dont blame them. or blame myself for being too busy. i like what i do. i do what i like. as simple as that.



i know this might sounds selfish, but im 20 now. i wanna live my life to the fullest this year. i wanna go backpacking, i wanna do this and do that. and im gonna make it happen.