this is too long

how long? what is it? the holiday is too long. yes.
my holiday started from last november and college starts on march. imagine how long is that.... so yea, now I'm probably the busiest unoccupied person in KL. why am i doing in KL? i dont know. i went back to jkota last month and i did an internship at ANTV (for those who don't know what ANTV is, it's one of private TV stations in Indonesia) but turned out i didnt really enjoy it. not because the bad salary or the jobdesk or the environment. no. it's because the internship made me realize that I dont want to work in a boring office from 9-5 doing the same thing every fuckin day. since i was a kid, i always wanted to be like my mom who can wear nice working suite, the shirt, the skirt, the long pants, the high heels, the big leather bag with full make up. and i finally experienced it through my internship and i realized that i was wrong. im a free person. i cant sit for hours and doing the same thing... but Thank God i could finished my internship. so now here i am, back to KL. why KL? why didnt i stay in Jkt and spend the rest holiday there with all my friends? okay.. it's because i dont feel like i belong there anymore.. everybody's busy with their own businesses and i cant go wherever i want like when im in KL. here i can wake up anytime... i can go anywhere without asking someone's permission. at first, i wanted to apply for part time job to fill my boredom here... but then i looked at myself again then i put myself as the employer's position.. if i was an employer, would i hire someone like me? someone who is unreliable, who can leave the job anytime she wants because she has so much plans in her head... yes. that's what i am. imagine like this, if im doing the part time then i have to leave on 24 january because im going to singapore to watch the killers. and on feb 7, i have to leave again for thailand because i wanna go backpacking with my girls and after thailand i have to go back to jkt for a while to do the "kebaya fitting" for my borther's wedding, and on march 14 i have to go back again to jkt for my bro's wedding. see? how busy i am *lol* nobody wants to hire me and i dont blame them. or blame myself for being too busy. i like what i do. i do what i like. as simple as that.



i know this might sounds selfish, but im 20 now. i wanna live my life to the fullest this year. i wanna go backpacking, i wanna do this and do that. and im gonna make it happen.